7 Effective Coping Skills to Use When Depression Feels Heavy

Living with depression can be an ongoing challenge and at times the weight of it can feel overwhelming. In these moments, having a toolkit of effective coping skills is essential for managing and alleviating the symptoms. In this post, we'll explore seven coping strategies— with specific resources and tools— you can incorporate into your daily life to navigate through the heaviness of depression.

1) Guided Mindfulness for Depression Relief:

Incorporating guided mindfulness exercises into your routine can help break the cycle of negative thoughts and create a greater sense of awareness. The Insight Timer app offers a variety of guided meditations, allowing individuals to tailor their practice to their specific needs. We really like the Insight Timer app because there is a free version with lots of resources included.

2) Physical Movement as a Mood Booster:

Regular enjoyable movement has been shown to be a powerful aid in the treatment of depression. Utilizing a fitness tracker like a Fitbit or Apple Watch can be helpful to monitor your daily activity, set movement goals, and receive motivational reminders to stay active to boost your mood. Other ways to include movement in your day can be dancing to your favorite song or playlist, walking your dog, taking a short walk around the block, or doing stretches along with a guided YouTube video.

3) Journaling to Unburden Your Mind:

Expressive writing can allow you to externalize your thoughts and feelings, providing a sense of relief if things feel bottled up. Hand-writing in a journal can be a great option, but apps like The Day One app or Penzu can offer a secure and private platform for digital journaling, helping you gain insight into your emotions and track your mental health journey.

4) Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) Tapping:

EFT tapping involves gently tapping on specific meridian points (similar to those used in acupressure and acupuncture) while focusing on certain thoughts and emotions. The Tapping Solution app provides guided sessions for EFT tapping and there are numerous YouTube videos available as well. Many of our clients have experienced significant relief utilizing EFT Tapping as part of their depression treatment toolkit

5) Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Skill - Opposite Action:

DBT's Opposite Action skill involves acting opposite to your current emotional state, especially when emotions are intense and distressing. The DBT Coach app provides guidance on practicing Opposite Action, helping individuals shift away from negative emotions and promote positive change. We also recommend the Dialectical Therapy Skills Workbook by McKay, Wood, and Brantley.

6) Establishing a Consistent Sleep Routine:

 Prioritizing and maintaining a consistent sleep routine is essential for mental and physical health, but it can be very difficult to achieve for folks struggling with depression. We often recommend using the Insight Timer app to access guided imagery and mediations designed specifically to use at bedtime to promote relaxation and enhance the quality of your sleep.

7) Creative Outlets for Self-Expression:

Engaging in creative activities, such as art, provides an excellent outlet for self-expression and can lead to feelings of pride and accomplishment. Procreate is a digital art app that allows individuals to channel their emotions into artistic creations, offering a therapeutic and fulfilling way to cope with depressive thoughts and feelings.

Incorporating these skills and resources into your daily life can help manage the weight of depression and promote overall well-being. It's important to remember that seeking professional help from a licensed therapist is also a valuable step in the journey to achieving and sustaining recovery.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, please seek immediate help. You can reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing or texting 988 anytime, 24 hours a day.

Holiday Survival Guide: Our Top Strategies for Thriving Amidst Seasonal Stress and Pressure

As the holiday season unfolds, it brings a unique blend of joy, warmth, and, for many, an undercurrent of stress. Join us as we explore practical strategies to cope with the tension and pressure that often accompany the holiday season.

Understanding the Impact of Holiday Stress on Mental Health

Identify Triggers: Start by recognizing the specific activating thoughts or situations that contribute to your stress. Is it the pressure to meet expectations, the fear of judgment, or the overload of social engagements? Understanding your triggers is the first step in proactively managing your emotional well-being.

Set Realistic Goals: Rather than aiming for a perfect holiday experience, set achievable goals for yourself. Break down tasks into manageable steps, focusing on what is within your control. Realistic expectations pave the way for a more enjoyable and less stressful holiday season.

Managing Expectations and Setting Boundaries

Prioritize Your Well-being: Shift the focus from meeting external expectations to prioritizing your well-being. Assess what you're comfortable with during the holidays and set clear boundaries for yourself and with others. Communicate your needs assertively, emphasizing the importance of your own mental health and wellness.

Plan Ahead for Difficult Conversations: If challenging conversations are anticipated, plan for them. Practice assertive communication techniques and have a few responses ready. Setting boundaries respectfully can help manage potentially stressful interactions.

Practicing Self-Care During the Holiday Season

Schedule "Me Time": Make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine. Schedule intentional "me time" amidst the holiday chaos. Whether it's a short mindfulness exercise, talking with a friend, or indulging in a favorite hobby, these moments contribute significantly to your well-being.

Create a Self-Care Kit: Prepare a self-care kit filled with items that bring you comfort. It could include soothing music, scented lotion, a fidget toy, or a list of positive affirmations. Having a go-to kit can be a quick and accessible way to alleviate stress.

Navigating Difficult Family Dynamics

Focus on Self Compassion: Shift your focus from pleasing or managing others to managing your own well-being. If challenging family dynamics arise, take a moment to center yourself. Practice self-compassion and remember that your mental health is a priority.

Have a "Safe Space" Plan: If attending family gatherings feels daunting but unavoidable, create a plan for a "safe space" where you can retreat if needed. This could be a designated room or an outdoor area where you can take a breather and regroup. Recruit a family member to be a “safe person” for you if possible.

Finding Support and Seeking Professional Help

Identify Your Support System: Prioritize connections with friends or chosen family who understand and support you. Share your feelings and concerns with them and let them be a source of encouragement and genuine connection.

Explore Therapy Options: If stress becomes overwhelming, consider seeking professional help. Research therapists online or ask trusted friends about therapists in your community who have a great reputation. Therapy provides a confidential space for exploring and managing holiday-related challenges and the benefits can extend well beyond the holiday season.

The team at Life Balance Counseling hopes your holidays are filled with moments of self-discovery, joy, and authentic connections!

Elevating Relationships: The Positive Impact of Emotional Validation

The Essence of Emotional Validation: Emotional validation is like offering someone a comfy chair for their feelings. It involves wholeheartedly acknowledging another person's emotions, without judgment or disregard. It's a nod to their inner world, a warm assurance that their emotions are not only accepted but understood.

Think about those times when someone truly "gets" how you're feeling – it's like they're speaking your emotional language. That's emotional validation in action! When we validate another person's emotions, it's like saying, "I see your feelings, and they matter." This simple act nourishes the roots of a connection, making it stronger and more resilient.

The Gentle Power of Active Listening: One of the keys to emotional validation is active listening. It's not just about hearing words; it's about grasping the feelings behind those words. So when a friend recounts a tough day at work, instead of jumping in with advice, try saying, "It sounds like you had a really challenging day. I can see why you'd feel frustrated." Voila! You've just infused a sprinkle of magic into your conversation and your friend will feel more heard and more understood. They’ll probably want to talk to you more, too.

Emotional Validation: The Relationship Enhancer: Now, let's step into the realm of relationships. Whether it's your partner, family member, or close friend, emotional validation holds the power to elevate your connections. Imagine your partner sharing their worries about an upcoming presentation and you respond with, "I know this is stressing you out. You’ve worked really hard on this and I know you don’t love public speaking.” You’ve just given your partner the gift of acknowledging that their emotions make sense to you given all that you know (and love) about them. Strong relationships are built on moments like this.

The Ripple Effect of Validation: The magic of emotional validation doesn't stop with just one person. When you validate someone, you're setting an example of empathy and kindness. That person is then more likely to extend the same validation to you and others, creating a ripple effect of understanding and compassion.

By embracing and validating each other's emotions, we're crafting spaces of authenticity and acceptance. Remember, this isn't about solving problems; it's about saying, "Your feelings are heard, your emotions are valued." So go ahead, sprinkle that validation magic and watch your connections flourish like never before. Here's to creating bonds of empathy, one validating gesture at a time!

Nurturing Emotional Balance: The Power of Self-Compassion and DBT Skills for Coping with Depression and Anxiety

So many of us strive for emotional balance and a sense of well-being, but with the stress, overwhelm, and chaos of daily life it can be challenging to know where to begin. In a previous blog post, we explored the idea of creating a space between our emotions and actions, but putting this into practice can be easier said than done. There is, however, a powerful approach that can help us achieve this with more consistency: the combination of self-compassion and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills. Let's dive in to understand how self-validation, an essential aspect of self-compassion, and DBT techniques can work together to empower us in overcoming depression and anxiety.

Understanding Self-Validation: At the heart of self-compassion lies the concept of self-validation. This involves nonjudgmentally acknowledging our feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and experiences. When we self-validate, we recognize that our emotions and reactions make sense given our unique life circumstances, backgrounds, and values. It's an act of kindness and understanding towards ourselves, enabling us to create a foundation of self-support during challenging moments.

The Power of Self-Validation: Imagine you find yourself triggered by a situation or thought that evokes a strong emotional response. Taking a moment to self-validate can make a significant difference. For example, consider the following scenario: your partner forgets your dinner plans and you feel angry and disappointed. Instead of reacting impulsively, pause and say to yourself, "It makes sense that I feel this way because I miss my partner. I was looking forward to reconnecting, and our relationship is a priority to me."

By self-validating, you acknowledge the legitimacy of your emotions, helping you create that crucial space between your emotion and action. This pause allows you to choose intentional actions that align with your values and goals, rather than reacting solely from your "emotion mind." In turn, this not only fosters emotional balance but also enhances your ability to communicate effectively with others.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) Skills: Here are some key DBT skills that can work harmoniously with self-compassion to combat depression and anxiety:

1. Mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness allows you to observe your thoughts and emotions without judgment, which enhances your self-validation abilities.

2. Distress Tolerance: This skillset equips you to tolerate difficult emotions and distressing situations without resorting to unhelpful coping mechanisms. Self-validation reinforces your resilience during challenging moments.

3. Emotion Regulation: DBT's emotion regulation skills help you understand, manage, and change intense emotions effectively. Self-compassion encourages gentle acceptance of your emotions, reducing the impact of self-criticism.

4. Interpersonal Effectiveness: In conjunction with self-validation, this skillset helps you communicate your needs, boundaries, and feelings in a constructive manner, fostering healthier relationships.

The Synergy: By combining the power of self-compassion and DBT skills, you create a dynamic synergy that enhances your emotional well-being. Self-validation underpins your ability to pause and respond intentionally, while DBT equips you with practical tools to navigate complex emotions and situations skillfully. Together, they form a transformative framework for conquering depression and anxiety, cultivating emotional balance, and fostering meaningful connections with others.

Navigating the journey toward emotional balance and well-being may seem daunting, but with the empowering blend of self-compassion and DBT skills, it becomes an achievable and transformative process. Embrace self-validation to embrace your emotions nonjudgmentally and let DBT skills be your trusty companions in navigating life's challenges. As you nurture self-compassion and harness the power of DBT, you'll find yourself on a path of resilience, growth, and more emotional freedom.

Embracing Feelings by Michelle Jones, LCSW

Feelings are never wrong, they’re just feelings.

Feelings are the way that our body conveys certain experiences back to us and they’re constantly changing. Generally, a feeling will last about 2-90 seconds. So if we find that we are still experiencing a certain emotion after a period of time, that’s usually a sign we are either clinging to the emotion or trying to push it away.

It’s helpful to acknowledge how you feel.

“I feel guilty” doesn’t mean that you did anything wrong; it just means that this is your fleeting feeling for the moment. When we accept our feelings, as they are, with warmth, acceptance, and non-judgment, they will keep moving.

When we hold on to a feeling or try to avoid it, it will stick with us. You can’t get around feelings; they will wait you out.

Acknowledge how you feel. Greet it like you would an old friend… “hi guilt, I see you’ve stopped in to visit” and allow it to leave just as you would a guest stopping by your home for a short visit.

If you have a difficult time bringing warmth, acceptance, and non-judgment to your feelings, borrow this exercise from Rick Hanson’s Just One Thing and bring to mind a person or animal who loves you deeply and sense their kindness and gentleness seeping into you.

Routinely practice this exercise to soften to the experience of showing love to yourself.

Having Trouble Convincing Yourself Not to Feel Guilty? by Michelle Jones, LCSW

Guilt can be persistent, can’t it?!

Ask yourself “what is guilt doing for me or other people at this point?”

Sometimes we are able to make amends for the mistakes and hurt we have caused. Other times, we don’t have that opportunity. Emotional masochism really isn’t helping anyone. In fact, it can keep you from doing right by others because you end up stuck in the same place, which will affect the people around you.

Think about your loved ones, coworkers, friends, etc. and how they could be impacted by your chronic guilt.

Are they seeing you unhappy? Does it affect your mood? Do you avoid certain activities because you can’t get out of your head or feelings?

Holding onto guilt doesn’t just punish you, it punishes the people who love you too.

When you truly want to make amends for wrongdoing, that means that you own what is yours to own, you let go of what is not, and you take actionable steps to do better.

The energy that you are wasting on feeling guilty is energy that you will need for becoming stronger.

So let’s go. Head over to the next post for more on ways to cope with guilty feelings.

Loosening the Grips of Guilt by Michelle Jones, LCSW

Guilt is a powerful emotion. It’s important to recognize and feel guilt because it motivates us to take accountability, make changes, and do better.

However, guilt can also convince you that you have more responsibility in a given situation than you actually do. It can pull you in and leave you feeling overwhelmed and frozen in place.

If you notice that you are not living in a way that is aligned with your values because you cannot get past feelings of guilt, it’s time to let these feelings pass and get back to your life.

There are steps you can take to loosen the grips of guilt and move forward in a meaningful way.

The next series of blogs will help you to better understand guilt and provide you with skills you can use to cope with your experience of it.

Burnout

By: Justin Stilson, LPC

Burnout.  It’s a word that’s been circulating the internet for quite a while now.  It brings to mind images of stressed out employees slumped over their desks or leaning against a wall with their eyes closed and a painful expression on their face.  The reality is… well, that kind of IS the reality. Burnout can manifest itself in different forms for different people, though.

Psychology Today defines burnout as a state of chronic stress that leads to:

• physical and emotional exhaustion

• cynicism and detachment

• feelings of ineffectiveness and lack of accomplishment

The thing to remember about Burnout is that isn’t something that just happens to someone instantly.  It can be a slow and steady process. Most people who eventually experience full-fledged burnout may not realize the severity of what is happening to them until it’s full blown.

Warning signs of Burnout can vary from person to person, but there are a few common denominators that can include:

• Chronic Fatigue

• Anxiety

• Loss of Sleep

• General feeling of Pessimism

• Lack of Productivity 

• Anger

If you think you may be experiencing these signs, you are not alone.  I can remember years back, when I was beginning to experience all of these symptoms, I had to take an inventory of all the stress in my life, not just at work, and develop some strategies to help reduce it.  I developed a self-care plan that including a yoga practice, meditation, limiting my alcohol consumption and I began to practice being more mindful every day. Other Self-Care options could include:

• Exploring New Job Opportunities

• Limiting Screen Time

• Spending Time Outdoors

• Volunteering

• Engage in a Hobby

Working my plan is still a process for me, but I’m still working it every day.

In and Out

By Justin Stilson, LPC

In. Out. In. Out.  23,000. That’s about how many inhales and exhales the average person takes every day.  Breathing is part of our unnoticed everyday lives.  But, have you ever wondered what the effects would be if you became better acquainted with your breathing?  If your inhales and exhales were accomplished with intention rather than routine?

Over a year ago, I was beginning to feel the effects of habitual stress on my body and mind.  While I had an active yoga practice for physical body, I wanted to find a method to provide me more mental balance.  I began the practice of Three-Part Yogic Breathing, aka Dirgha Pranayama.  Defined by Yogapedia:  Dirgha Pranayama is a yogic breathing exercise that involves filling the lungs as much as possible using the entire respiratory system. The term comes from the Sanskrit, dirgha, meaning “long”; prana, meaning “life force”; and yama, meaning “restraint,” or ayama, meaning “extend” or “draw out.” It is the most basic of yogic breathing exercises and the one upon which other breathing practices are built.

My favorite Three-Part Breath Practice courtesy of DoYouYoga:

1.       Sit with your spine erect or lie down on your back. Begin taking long, slow, and deep breaths through your nose.

1. As you inhale, allow your belly to fill with air, drawing air deep into your lower lungs. As you exhale, allow your belly to deflate like a balloon. Repeat several times, keeping your breath smooth and relaxed, and never straining. Repeat several times.

2. Breathe into your belly as in step #2, but also expand your mid-chest region by allowing your rib cage to open outward to the sides. Exhale and repeat several times.

3. Follow steps #2 and #3 and continue inhaling by opening your upper chest. Exhale and repeat.

4. Combine all three steps, utilizing all three chambers of your lungs (low, mid, high) into one continuous or complete flow.

Since integrating this into my yoga practice, I have found many benefits.  I finally feel like I am able to take full, concentrated breathes.  Now that may not seem like an earth shattering benefit, but the result of these full, concentrated breathes has helped calm my mind, helping to reduce my stress and anxiety.  I feel more rested in the morning which has helped me feel more focused during the day.  When done before meditation, I find that I am able to better focus while still remaining at ease. 

While I may only spend a few minutes in a Three-Part Breath Practice each day, they have become my most beneficial minutes. 

Get Unstuck From Your Emotions

By Marlo Torrelli, LPC, NCC

Feeling STUCK in your emotions?

A large part of that feeling can be due to the patterns of mood-congruent behavior we sometimes fall into. “Mood-congruent” is a fancy way of saying “acting like our feelings say we should act.”

If we FEEL sad, we may BEHAVE in predictable ways: isolate ourselves, disconnect from our friends, sleep too much, stop doing the things that used to bring us joy.

If we FEEL angry, we may BEHAVE by yelling or lashing out with words or actions.

Most of us have certain “go-to” responses to our emotions, but these responses often end up making things even harder for us if they happen for a prolonged period of time.

This is where the DBT skill Opposite to Emotion or Opposite Action can be helpful.

Opposite to Emotion asks us to ACT or BEHAVE in a way that is incongruent or opposite to the emotion we are feeling so that we don’t get stuck in an emotional state.

For example, someone who is feeling sad or depressed can commit to engaging in activities like meeting a friend for lunch, walking the dog, or going to yoga class.

They may not “feel” like doing these things, but simply “doing the doing” can often help lift the sadness and be part of a plan of effective coping strategies that, when used together, start to form new patterns in her/ his life.

You may start by asking yourself what some of your go-to responses to emotions are.

Ask, “What do I tend to DO when I FEEL sadness, anger, anxiety, fear, guilt, or shame?”

Then ask, “What might the OPPOSITE of those actions be?”

Be creative. Imagine what you might be DOING if you weren’t FEELING this emotion.

Remember: the goal isn’t to disregard that you’re having a true emotional experience; the goal is to choose actions that work more effectively for your life so that your emotions don’t keep you stuck.